My friend today said, "The ‘spiritual path’ isn’t very honestly advertised—when you check that ‘opt in’ box, somewhere down in the fine print it says ‘buckle up bitch.’"
Self-love has not come naturally for me, growing up in a high-demand religion and never feeling like I was enough perpetuated into all aspects of my life. But I've been clinging to this idea of "loving myself forward" as an antidote to the "shame yourself into being enough" prescription I've been on since birth. It's welcoming all the conflict voices in my head, it's forgiving myself when I fall short of my own expectations, it's looking at the present moment and asking "what's the next best thing I can do from here?" again and again and again.
But the gains from the effort have been so palpable. Instead of comparing myself against some imaginary version of myself that has hit shit together and always coming up short, I'm trying to look back instead and say "damn, look how far I've come!" Or another favorite mantra "we made it!"
I've also been listening to this book by Richard Schwartz (of "No Bad Parts" and IFS fame) called "You're the One You've Been Waiting For" and it's really helped me understand how I've been looking to fill gaps in my own need for self love through the affection and praise of others. It's really geared toward relationships and it's been a huge revelation so far, would definitely recommend!
My friend today said, "The ‘spiritual path’ isn’t very honestly advertised—when you check that ‘opt in’ box, somewhere down in the fine print it says ‘buckle up bitch.’"
Self-love has not come naturally for me, growing up in a high-demand religion and never feeling like I was enough perpetuated into all aspects of my life. But I've been clinging to this idea of "loving myself forward" as an antidote to the "shame yourself into being enough" prescription I've been on since birth. It's welcoming all the conflict voices in my head, it's forgiving myself when I fall short of my own expectations, it's looking at the present moment and asking "what's the next best thing I can do from here?" again and again and again.
But the gains from the effort have been so palpable. Instead of comparing myself against some imaginary version of myself that has hit shit together and always coming up short, I'm trying to look back instead and say "damn, look how far I've come!" Or another favorite mantra "we made it!"
I've also been listening to this book by Richard Schwartz (of "No Bad Parts" and IFS fame) called "You're the One You've Been Waiting For" and it's really helped me understand how I've been looking to fill gaps in my own need for self love through the affection and praise of others. It's really geared toward relationships and it's been a huge revelation so far, would definitely recommend!
Wonderful comment, and thanks for the book rec!
Brilliant reflection on the challenge of the spiritual path. 😂
I feel you, my friend. It can be a windy road for some of us, but I believe it yields a special type of reward as we break through.
Your approach is beautiful and I’m so glad you’re experiencing progress, keep it going! 💪
Nice, thank you for the recommendation! Will add to my list ✅