In Defense of Boredom

"It’s the silence between the notes that makes the music”

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"Boredom is the dream bird that hatches the egg of experience. A rustling in the leaves drives him away." - Walter Benjamin

This week’s meditation is inspired by a prompt from

Dizzy Zaba

on a thread from

Substack Writers at Work

. Thank you!

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“I’m so bored!” My daughter, M, would proclaim as she paced and stomped around her stuffed animals in our pillow room.

Most days of the week, we have a house rule for no screen time. The momentary loss of her iPad (that infinite dopamine dispenser) can evoke frustration, longing, irritability, and most notably: boredom.

But what happens after M moves through those emotions is something beautiful:

• she crafts artistic masterpieces

• she immerses herself into books

• she courageously runs outside to play with her neighbors

• she asks deep, thought provoking questions

• she uses her imagination to conjure up incredible characters, business ideas, and worlds

The War on Boredom

Boredom, the state of being uninterested or disengaged, is a universal human experience. But it’s not the enemy we often think it is.

Often, we view it as an unpleasant emotional state - associating it with feelings of dissatisfaction, restlessness, and fatigue.

Our modern world has done much to try and eradicate boredom. From TV to smartphones. With adrenaline-inducing experiences and endless consumption.

Our society demonizes it. We’ve developed hustle culture and a false attachment between ‘work’ and self-worth. Subtle programming is embedded in our belief systems and control structures. Take, for example, the Bible (Proverbs 16:27) “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”

As a result, we’re perpetually either too busy or too distracted.

Boredom is the Harbinger of Creation

Yet there is power in boredom. The pregnant emptiness of the moment gives birth to desire, dreams, curiosity, and inspiration.

It tells us that we’re not doing what really excites us.

It forces us to reconsider our goals, values, and priorities.

It drives us to seek out new experiences and ideas.

It deepens our appreciation of friends, meaningful work, and play.

It improves our mental health.

It makes us more creative.

Creating Space to Be Bored

Over the past few months, I’ve intentionally shed activities and attachments that were keeping me occupied or distracted:

• I deleted most of my apps (notably social media), turned off notifications, and stopped obsessively checking my phone

• I became more selective of what I read - cutting out junk news, fear-porn, and click-bait

• I limited my sitting and staring at a screen (ie playing video games or binge watching shows)

• I embraced solitude

• I stopped believing in the fear that if I do nothing, everything would fall apart

• I stopped doing things for other people out of imaginary obligation, especially when they weren’t asking for it

By letting go of these things, I discovered an abundance of time each day, and I got bored. But in that boredom, I was able to choose. To rest, to meditate, to process, to heal, to read, to go outside, to exercise, to write, to play music, to create. To do the things that nourished and excited me.

It has been transformative.

This purge helped me realize that for most of my life, I wasn’t prioritizing myself. I was always either reacting to someone else’s needs, or unconsciously reaching for something that would numb the pain. That pattern is over now.

Use Boredom to Your Advantage

It’s the silence between the notes that makes the music. If you want to create or be anything lateral, bigger, better, or truly different, you need room to ask “what if?” without a conference call in 15 minutes.  The aha moments rarely come from the incremental inbox-clearing mentality of, “Oh, fuck… I forgot to… Please remind me to… Shouldn’t I?…I must remember to…” That is the land of the lost, and we all become lost.” - Tim Ferris

Being bored is a sign that you’ve prioritized yourself. That you’ve cleared space in your life (or perhaps someone has done it for you). It shows that you’re not overstimulated or under pressure to do something for someone else.

It means you have a blank slate to play with.

Take pleasure in the silence - let it guide you to the brilliance nestled within the void.

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What I’m Doing This Week

Gratitude

I’m grateful for my family and friends who were there for me when I really needed it. I love you all.

Lesson Learned

Don’t waste time begrudging your life - what you really have is an opportunity to grow.

Listening to

‘Fearless’ by Invisibilia. Big thanks to

Christine P. Dela Rosa

for the recommendation.

A beautifully produced exploration of fear, its value, what it means to live completely without it (it’s not what you think), and ways to healthily integrate it into your life.

Watching

One of the most influential podcast interviews I ever heard, this is probably my 2nd or 3rd rewatch. Naval Ravikant is a brilliant philosopher and entrepreneur, dropping precious wisdom in every sentence.

Reading

Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD

A beautifully written, thoroughly researched exploration into parenting. Doucleff immerses herself and her child in the ancient wisdom of traditional cultures within Mexico, Tanzania, and the arctic. She consults with psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, historians, and sociologists to build a comprehensive picture of how our society has evolved around parenting.

It reveals the fallacies and strange origins of western parenting paradigms and presents a clear path to raising helpful, autonomous, flexible, cooperative children.

Thank you for this precious gift, Julie.

Self-care

Meditation, morning cardio, stretching, muscle scraping, hot baths, pushups, ocean, reiki, sound bath, cacao, sunlight, fasting