Who Are You To Judge?

You are everything and everything is a mirror

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.” - Jesus, John 8:7

As the biblical story goes, Jesus was called upon by rival religious leaders to pass judgement on a woman who had committed adultery. The punishment was to be stoned to death. It was a ruse designed to entrap him into a trilemma:

• free her and violate the Law of Moses

• stone her and violate Roman law and the role of ‘savior’

• say nothing and appear to lack wisdom or decisiveness

Jesus responded with the quote above, transcending the trap while teaching a profound lesson in moral integrity and compassion. Rather than give an excuse for sin, he called for personal accountability— asking those seeking to condemn others to examine their own lives first.

When was the last time you judged someone? We do it all the time, mostly without noticing. A trivial comment of condemnation, a digital shout and some finger-pointing on social media, a silent sneer at the person who cut you off.

Though seemingly small, these judgements accumulate and reverberate in your being, propagating onto those around you. They also have something to teach you.

The World is Your Mirror

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” - Hermann Hesse

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung

In my younger days, at the height of my judgement and condemnation, I couldn’t fathom that the qualities I disliked in others could exist within me. But I wasn’t above it, I was simply blind to it.

Regardless, life has a clever way of wiping the fog from the glass, often through tough lessons. Taking an honest look in the mirror is an act of bravery and masochism— seeing yourself clearly can be illuminating yet painful.

Becoming aware of your judgements can bring intense feelings of shame and sadness. Feelings we normally bury or hide from. But things change when you find the courage to sit with these emotions. They eventually pass, and with their passing comes understanding.

With understanding, acceptance.

With acceptance, peace.

Peace, unfortunately, doesn’t always come easy. Mastering this discipline of introspection requires multiple iterations, constant self-reflection, cycles of up and down, and support from people you can trust.

The next time you’re triggered by something, consider how it may be reflecting back to you something you want to let go of or change within yourself.

The Tightrope Walk of Non-Judgement and Discernment

In Buddhism, there is a principle called ‘upekkha’, meaning equanimity or non-attachment. Though some may see non-judgement as an impractical approach to life, letting ‘bad people’ get away with doing ‘bad things’, there’s more nuance to that. There is mastery in balancing the extremes of a moralizing zealot vs. a passive enabler.

On one end of the spectrum, we can judge with rigidity, ego, and opinion. It can be expressed as criticism, a way to position yourself above another. Taken too far, it causes harm.

On the other end, there is holistic discernment. Characterized by an open-ended perspective of the situation, detachment, and compassion. Taken too far, it enables harm.

In practice, it’s walking a tightrope between attraction and aversion, likes and dislikes, praise or blame— without leaning too hard in one direction or whiplashing back and forth.

It also means not idly standing by as suffering is inflicted unto others. Sometimes we need to prevent or stop this through decision and action. This is where discernment comes in— deciding between right and wrong, finding truth within the broader context of the situation.

So Who Are You Really?

Coming back to the title of this post— if all of reality is a mirror, then what does that make you?

According to the Buddha, we are all one. Oneness is the concept of non-duality, where all phenomena, including individual beings, are interconnected and ultimately inseparable.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

“Make me one with everything, please.”

According to quantum mechanics (Wave-Particle Duality, Entanglement, Superposition, Non-Locality)— the universe is an interconnected, non-local, and holistic system.

“Quantum theory thus reveals a basic oneness of the universe. It shows that we cannot decompose the world into independently existing smallest units. As we penetrate into matter, nature does not show us any isolated ‘building blocks,’ but rather appears as a complicated web of relations between the various parts of the whole.” - Fritjof Capra, The Tao of Physics

The concept of the ‘individual self’ is a brilliantly constructed illusion. Just as the light is not separate from the sun, and as a wave is not separate from the ocean— you are everything and everything is you. When you judge something else, you judge yourself. Conversely, when you practice self-love, you practice universal love.

Seeing The Bigger Picture

I’ve made countless mistakes throughout my life, causing far more harm than I would have ever wished. I have plenty of my own messes to clean up. Who am I to judge someone else for their flaws, decisions, or opinions?

It took me decades to realize that everyone is on their own specific journey, playing their unique part in the grand unfolding of our universal tapestry. I had to learn to accept people unconditionally versus trying to change them, control them, or shame them. It required an understanding that their actions where part of a larger story arc that would play out through lifetimes.

It took me decades to realize that I am connected to everyone, and that we are all interwoven into a greater whole. I had to learn how to radiate compassion both inward and outward. It required an understanding that I was ultimately judging myself, revealing my own areas of self-improvement.

By shifting our focus from external judgements to internal growth, we have the power to transform ourselves and the world around us. May that journey bring us peace, compassion, grace, and harmony.

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What I’m Doing This Week

Gratitude

I’m grateful for peace and my children’s laughter.

Lesson Learned

The life you want to live can only be built by you.

Listening to

Don’t Worry Baby by The Beach Boys

Watching

Professor Donald Hoffman, PhD is a cognitive neuroscientist and the author of more than 90 scientific papers and three books, including Visual Intelligence and The Case Against Reality.

In this podcast, he explores consciousness through a scientific lens, combining evolutionary theory with mathematics. He makes a compelling case that the reality we see every day is an illusion created by our minds.

Reading

Proton just launched a privacy-focused alternative to Google Docs

Big opportunity to wean off the Google / Microsoft privacy-violating duopoly.

Self-care

Meditation, volleyball, ocean, cold plunge, cupping, stretching, swimming, hot baths, sunlight