Transforming Work Into Play

Toil less, achieve more

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And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge, 
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge, 
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work, 
And all work is empty save when there is love - Khalil Gibran

This week, I took my children to their friend’s birthday party. It was a joy to see them amongst a dozen of their peers - playing, laughing, and freely enjoying themselves. But it evoked a hard truth that has been nagging at me recently: How my view of work and the pressure I put on myself is robbing me of joy.

Amongst the yelps of excitement, chatter of parents, and upbeat music, I had an opportunity to join the kids in a competition. A physical activity that, in my childhood, I would’ve been ecstatic to participate in. But I refused.

Why? Because I was fixated on a need to write this Substack post. From the sidelines I observed other parents join in on the fun and rekindle their own childhood wonder. I smiled as I watched them run around, tagging each other, screaming in surprise and delight. Their laughter and energy a stark contrast to my restraint.

In the second segment of the birthday party, I chose to engage and began to play some games with my little one, ‘M’. To see her eyes light up, her smile radiate, her little frame jump around in glee - was momentary euphoria. Her sister ‘B’ joined us and we lost ourselves in celebration. It was the sweetest outcome I could’ve hoped for, and I almost missed out on it.

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Later, in meditation, I pondered why I chose not to join early on. With the time I spent idling and observing, I could have been playing, laughing, moving my body.

In hindsight, I realized a hidden belief was holding me back: that I need to work first in order to be worthy of play.

That belief has denied me the joys of the present moment and precious opportunities to connect with my children. For what? To write faster? To make extra money? To please someone else who may not even notice?

My original intent for writing on Substack was to explore truths and share perspective - to inspire. Over time, I’ve come to understand that these meditations are actually chronicles for my future self.

But I got caught up in the idea that I was producing content for people to consume. That I needed to write on a regular basis to grow an audience and find ‘success’.

My definition of success was flawed. It’s not about views, engagement, subscribers, or monetization. These creations are an expression of the soul. An act whose purpose is self-fulfilling. It does not require any external validation.

The mistake I made was that I started to view writing on Substack as work, when it is actually meant to be play. I was putting immense pressure on myself for no good reason. That story is over now.

We are our own worst enemies, indeed.

Reframing Work and Pride

When I lived and worked in France, my professional worldview was completely turned upside down. The country is famously known for their 35 hour work week. On top of that, France has 11 national holidays, and an annual minimum of 6 weeks paid vacation. As an American, I was flabbergasted when I first heard about the work year. “How does anything even get done?” I pondered in naive judgement.

Whether pulling late nights in the sleepless office buildings of New York, or ‘crunching’ at the Blizzard campus in California, I was used to working 50-70 hour work weeks. I believed that working inhumanly hard was a sign of strength and grit. That it was something to be proud of and a requirement to earn what I desired.

Fate showed me otherwise, teaching me that this was a trauma response, a distorted societal dogma, and a form of toxic masculinity.

In my eyes, the French have figured something out that many other developed countries have lost sight of: that work is not all there is to value in life, and that working in moderation actually makes you happier, healthier, smarter, and more effective.

The choice we make is whether we live to work, or work to live.

Rest Nurtures Genius

Time away from work allows you to think clearly, re-energize, and see things in a new light.

When I took advantage of my copious holiday allotment, I would travel to new places and try out different experiences. Europe is a wonderful place, allowing you to hop on a train and arrive in a completely new world in just a few hours.

I was bombarded with new languages, cultures, cuisines, architectures, landscapes, and social systems. It bestowed upon me new perspectives and ideas, opening my mind and challenging old assumptions and beliefs.

Ample vacation time gave me the freedom to spend time with myself, family, and friends. Which is perhaps the most precious and restorative gift to ever receive.

When I came back to work, I was refreshed and overflowing with new ideas, excited to share them with my teammates.

Constraints Spark Creativity

I used to operate under the assumption that I had infinite time and energy. That I could do anything so long as I put my mind to it and pushed hard enough. But limitations are powerful.

Knowing I had only a small window of time to make decisions and take action, it forced me to prioritize. It made me think of creative, more efficient solutions. I had to make hard choices. It drove me to collaborate more, realizing that I couldn’t do everything myself.

I observed the same behaviors in my colleagues, and these dynamics made it a joy to work together.

It Works At Scale

An argument can be made that the French are some of the most productive people in the world, measured by GDP per capita by actual hours worked.

“Think about it. Nationmaster ranks France as #18 in terms of GDP per capita, at $36,500 per person, yet France works much less than most developed nations. They achieve their high standard of living while working 16% less hours than the average world citizen, and almost 25% than their Asian peers as per UBS. Plus, if you visit France you'll also realize that their actual standard of living is probably much higher than GDP numbers would indicate.”

Work often does not have linear returns, outputs are force-multiplied by the quality of inputs.

Imagine a community, a company, a nation, a global society that embraces these ideas. How would our lives be different?

Our Obsession With Work is Making Us Sick

Overworking lies at the root of many of our society’s ills. Working too hard creates persistent stress, impacting our health, intelligence, creativity.

More than ever, employees show the signs and symptoms of working too much. According to Gallup, 76% of employees experience burnout on the job at least sometimes, with Robert Half noting that 41% of employees are more burnt out now than a year ago.

A long list of maladies

• Research on British civil servants and a 2015 study correlated work stress and longer hours with greater risk of diabetes, stroke and heart disease.

• Overworking has been linked to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety

• Another study found burnout to be linked to more frequent painkiller use, higher fast food consumption, infrequent exercise, and higher alcohol consumption.

  • Side note on that last item: Much to my dismay over losing red wine, no amount of alcohol is good for your health.

• According to Psychology Today, burnout also includes physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism, detachment, ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment.

Genius In Play

The antithesis to work is play - a universal and deep part of human nature. Through play, we learn to cooperate for survival, follow rules, nurture healthy relationships, and develop & test theories of how the world works.

When we play, dopamine and endorphins flood the brain and body, making it easier for us to absorb memories, enter flow states, and unleash creativity. And it is creativity that is at the heart of all value generation.

Naval puts it best: Find Work That Feels Like Play

“I’m always ‘working.’ It looks like work to others, but it feels like play to me. And that’s how I know no one can compete with me on it. Because I’m just playing, for sixteen hours a day. If others want to compete with me, they’re going to work, and they’re going to lose because they’re not going to do it for sixteen hours a day, seven days a week.”

The most powerful choice we can make when it comes to our career, and more importantly, our mindset around work, is choosing something you love to do and the right people to do it with. Through this lens, you’re no longer toiling away at a task, you’re having fun while getting shit done.

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What I’m Doing This Week

Gratitude

I’m grateful for the safety and sanctuary of home expanding its borders.

Lesson Learned

There is no sweeter justice than simply living your best life and ascending.

Listening to

God Only Knows by Matilda Mann

Watching

Arrival

A brilliant, heart-wrenching, mind bending, time-warping, hopeful tale of extra-terrestrial visitors and our potential response.

Reading

As a Relationship Coach, Here Are 4 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Already Over

Ending a relationship may be daunting and painful, yet it opens up the opportunity to discover a love that aligns with your deserving self. Shout-out to Jules for another brilliant piece!

Self-care

Meditation, volleyball, ocean, stretching, deep fascia work, hot baths, energy work, naps