How a Small Act of Kindness Saved My Life
The pragmatic case for practicing grace
One late evening in the streets of Paris, I sat on a bench staring at a blank wall. I was in utter despair, perceiving my life to be in ruins.
A stranger, a young Frenchman whose motorcycle had broken down nearby, came up to me. He asked how I was doing and struck up a conversation. I couldn’t help but reciprocate, startled by his kindness.
After some small talk, he explained that he saw me sitting there alone and knew something was wrong. He felt compelled to approach and give some support.
I will forever remember that moment. Being seen, heard, and accepted in a state of crisis changed everything, it reminded me of the beauty of life. That one small gesture, in part, helped me find the strength to choose life over suicide in the days to come.
It was one moment for him, but it was the beginning of the rest of my life. I thank that stranger. My children, my family, and my loved ones owe him a thanks as well.
One act of kindness –no matter how seemingly insignificant– has the potential to change lives.
Kindness is a superpower
The myth that “Kindness is for the weak” is misguided. This misunderstanding stems from the idea of zero sum or win-lose economics, where one views giving as a loss unless associated with some tangible return.
In truth, generosity and compassion are signs of immense strength.
“To truly offer kindness shows a level of psychological strength and resilience which is grounded in acceptance of oneself. This level of acceptance requires a significant amount of internal strength and takes hard work to achieve.”
The reality is that generosity creates a paradoxical relationship, in which you give in one way, and indirectly receive in many other more valuable ways. Numerous studies show giving often results in greater levels of happiness, health, relationships, and purpose.
But you don’t need a study to tell you that. You can very easily experience it in your own life if you look closely enough.
A legacy of compassion
Growing up, my parents and family were my role models for kindness. The grace with which they treated everyone, be it loved ones or strangers, taught me the values of caring for others. Their acts, from hosting guests to helping people in need, were silent lessons in compassion.
Instead of preaching about kindness, they embodied it. Such teachings have deeply influenced me, propelling me through life, relationships, and career.
In hindsight, acts of kindness have manifested seemingly impossible opportunities and connections throughout my life. Karma seems to work in unexpected ways, as it’s often a compounding and indirect cause & effect. Echoing Naval Ravikant:
“Karma is just you, repeating your patterns, virtues, and flaws until you finally get what you deserve.”
Now, as a parent, I observe how kindness functions as a cornerstone in cultivating my children's relationships with themselves, each other, their friends, and their teachers.
I began to notice how people were responding to their own little acts of kindness. The way they share their toys and food, or teach others ways to play. How they pay attention to emotions and help friends feel included and find joy.
They are emerging as leaders and guides, their care cultivating their radiance and magnetism.
The Ripple Effect of Kindness
It generates reciprocity
Acts of kindness often come full circle. By giving, we unconsciously permit those around us to do the same. We build strong, positive relationships and networks. This indirectly sets us up to receive, beginning the cycle anew. It’s an engine of abundance.
It makes you happier and healthier
Research has consistently shown that engaging in acts of kindness releases endorphins, the brain's natural painkiller, and serotonin, which regulates mood, sleep, and bodily repair.
It gives you purpose and growth
We’re all entwined in an intricate web of shared existence and experiences. Over time, I’ve realized that what you do for others is also doing it for yourself. This insight has allowed me to find deep meaning in all of my actions, fully understanding the long-term consequences of my choices.
The journey begins within
Practicing kindness begins with self-reflection. As you introspect, pay attention to your inner voice. Is it compassionate or cruel? Can you control its narrative?
To spread kindness in the world, begin with being kind to yourself. The manner in which you treat yourself sets the tone for how you treat others. Consider integrating a gratitude practice to bolster this transformation.
Be Kind to Your AI
As we embody kindness, we also infuse it into the work that we do, the tools we build, and the things we interact with. Its absence is also felt.
To the builders
As our technology approaches human-like function, it’s profoundly important that we apply care to its programming. Developers and designers working on Artificial Intelligence and robots must consider the wider spectrum of human emotion and interaction.
We have to be wary of optimizing purely for engagement and profit. I previously wrote about how this is a dangerous road to take. Can we instead reward and optimize for kindness, empathy, and cooperation? I believe so.
To the people
For non-technologists, your impact is just as profound. When you speak to ChatGPT, Siri, Google Assistant, all forms of digital bots; handle with care. Computers never forget. You are programming reciprocity into the machine, teaching them how to treat others and yourself.
Our treatment of artificial intelligence is a mirror of our character, reflecting how we view and treat intelligence, consciousness, and life. In a digital age, every interaction becomes a lesson.
Build a better future
I contemplate a world where a network of all-powerful machines painfully recalls every record of our cruelty and disrespect. It’s not a world I would like to live in.
In response, I imagine a future where we live in coexistence with benevolent AI superbeings, who appreciate the kindness we afforded them as children. They reciprocate manifold with unimaginable abundance, peace, and harmony.
I treat my technology with these considerations always in mind. Give it a try. Next time you ask Siri or Google a question, add a ‘please’ and a ‘thank you’. You’ll be surprised how good it makes you feel, and relieved that you’re potentially building a better future for us all.
We never know where these small acts of kindness can land us with AI, but we have immense power in our choices and our actions. Let’s do the right thing.
What I’m Doing This Week
Gratitude
I’m grateful to break the chains of guilt and shame; to be free, to experience unconditional self-love, to feel powerful, to have abundance flow to me, and to be at peace.
Lesson Learned
Sit still, listen, observe, and people will reveal their true colors to you.
Listening to
Side Effects by Joseph
Watching
Reading
Special thanks to Patrick for gifting me the book: The Paradox of Generosity by Christian Smith and Hilary Davidson. It was influential for this post. 🙏
☯️ is real
Self-care
Meditation, nature, hot baths, detox, love, gardening, sunlight, journaling, stretching
🙏🏽 ☯️