Finding Joy In the Shadows

+ reflections and what’s next for Poets’ Corner

Dear subscribers, I owe each of you a sincere apology. When I created Poets’ Corner, I’d made a commitment to share something of value on a weekly basis. It’s been many months now where I haven’t followed through on that promise. For that, I am deeply sorry.

The past year has been full of lessons and transformation. Trials of patience, fortitude, self-worth, relationships, and faith. I marched through hell, grappled with demons, and writhed in agonizing, slow moving, ego deaths. Confronting the little lies and scripts that programmed my life paved the way to the shedding of old identities—an experience as profoundly liberating as it was unpleasant.

I struggled to write. Stress alone is enough to suppress creativity, but the feelings of guilt, shame, and regret were an additional set of uncomfortable shackles. I‘ve been a prisoner of my own fear.

A voice from the shadows would whisper:

Will this help me earn any money?
Am I good enough to write anything?
Do I have anything worth saying?
What are people going to think?

In the past, I’d succumb to that voice. I’d believe it, suppress it, villainize it, or run away. Today, I’m choosing to hold that voice with compassion. I’m patiently letting it cry out and throw its tantrums. I’m listening to it and seeing what it’s really trying to do: protect me.

The shadows melt away. I see a young, wounded Jeremy— lost, confused, and angry. I surround him with warmth and the glow of unconditional love. I embrace him as I would my own children.

Ça va aller.
It’s going to be alright.

I choose to hide no longer.

Reflections

Why do we carry our wounds around like a heavy bag?
Shoulders bent, knees cracking from the weight of sadness
The dull ache of a parent’s ceaseless worry
A precious child journeying through suffering.

How deep the sting comes through
When we see the truth
You hurt the ones you love when you hurt yourself
Pierced by thorns of judgement and scorn.

Peer deep enough in anyone and you’ll see yourself
An empty mirror full of lessons
The illusions we create to be loved, to belong
Are jagged portals to destruction and rebirth.

Treat people for who they are right now,
Not what you think they can be
For one’s dream may be another’s nightmare
Sometimes, silence is the best medicine.

The promises we make, what cost do we bear?
When the pursuit of honor is twisted into torture
May emotions be our guide, and stillness be our sanctuary
When one decision can change the course of your life.

Choose You.
No
One
Else.

What’s Next

I thank the shadows. They’ve gifted me clarity and conviction. They’ve taught me perseverance. They’ve helped me discover and love the darkness within myself. After all, aren’t the shadows lurking in the corner really just us… joyfully dancing in the light?

I’m returning to Substack because I want to share what’s bringing me joy and excitement. I miss the beautiful community I’ve found here. I write with hope that my words can bring us that little bit of healing and connection we all seek.

A wonderful week at Edge Esmerelda

Recently,

julie

, the kids, and I attended Edge Esmerelda, a radical month-long un-conference / pop-up village / co-living experiment—an illuminating, intimidating, inspiring experience. The topics on the itinerary read like my own personal manifesto: Consciousness, Permaculture, Agritech, Health, Robotics, Blockchain, Decentralization, AI. I have more to share in an upcoming post, but the greatest gift from that experience was that of alignment. To know I’m not alone in my values and dreams. To feel the flow of walking the authentic path.

For many years, I’ve dreamed of building a Solarpunk Village—a harmonious blend of nature, technology, community and consciousness. Visions of this techno-spiritual farm have been so clear in my mind, I can simply close my eyes and be there. I can feel the joy, connection, love, and abundance that infuses each moment. I see my family and community—thriving, singing, playing, and laughing.

For this coming season on Poets’ Corner, I’ll be writing about the Solarpunk Village I’m creating, the community and network I’m cultivating, and the fascinating things I learn along the journey. Please do come along for the ride.

A Farewell to Overcorrection

I’m currently inspecting a personal theme of overcompensation throughout my life. An old version of me would’ve doubled down on my weekly publishing promise—reacting out of guilt and fear rather than being thoughtful about my needs and capacity. That isn’t serving me anymore.

So I’m not going to make a new commitment that traps me in another guilt spiral. Maybe I’ll post every single week, maybe I won’t. What I can confidently offer you is this: every word I write here is going to come straight from the heart, and I’ll be sending it from a place of presence, wholeness, and alignment. I hope you’ll feel the difference.

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for your support.

Thank you for your love.

I love you, too.

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What I’m Doing This Week

Gratitude

I’m grateful for clarity, self-love, and epic connections.

Lesson Learned

Take the direct line to your dreams and watch the magic unfold.

Listening to

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk

Watching

My Hero Academia

A joy to watch with Julie and the kids—sharing in the laughs, epic battles, favorite hero picks, and heart-warming life lessons.

Reading

Brandon Dang

’s write-up of Edge Esmerelda delivers a great overview and beautiful insights into the event:

Nugs & Reflections from a Pop Up Village

Self-care

Meditation, pushups, weight lifting, hot baths, saying no, solitude, elimination diet, sunlight, hammock time, friendships, passing gas (go figure!)