Change Comes For Us All, Ready or Not
8 ways to embrace the inevitable
“Everything changes and nothing remains still; you cannot step twice into the same stream.”
“The only constant in life is change.”
- Heraclitus
Lately I’ve been grappling with the rapid growth of my children, ‘B’ and ‘M’. I remember a time when they fit perfectly cradled in my palms - helpless, precious, and radiating with purity. Recalling those cherished times with clarity can be a challenge. In hindsight, I’m grateful for hoarding pictures and videos of those beautiful moments from their early lives.
Those memories stand in stark contrast to today, as my kids navigate grade school and approach middle school, embracing their individuality, personality, and peers. It’s startling to recognize their evolving relationship with me.
There’s a quiet tension between their insatiable need for my love, attention, and labor; their desire for their own space and sovereignty; and their destiny to take on their own lessons and challenges. I’ve begun to notice how much I give to them, partly because I had to receive the feedback. It was a blind spot for me.
Parenting is an undertaking of massive proportions, an immeasurable expenditure of time, energy, thought, and love. You’re cultivating a new being into the world by siphoning a part of your life force into it.
But I’m learning that successfully navigating it is more like nurturing a sapling - a delicate balance between giving and stepping back. It's a dance of love, care, and the gradual release of control, allowing my kids to root firmly into their own existence, while maintaining my own sanity and strength.
Recognizing the reality of the situation, I’m re-evaluating the roles we all play and the expectations we set. I must embrace the inescapable: change.
Change comes for us all, whether we are ready or not.
Recognizing Change
Consider the reality we experience. Change is not just inevitable; it's the essence of existence.
The universe is ever expanding in all directions, pushed outwards by dark energy and other mysterious forces. Everything is moving further away from everything else - planets, stars, galaxy clusters. A process that could continue in perpetuity until eventually all things end in heat death. It could also collapse back into itself into a Big Crunch, bringing us back to where we were at the moment of the Big Bang. The cycle then begins anew, I suppose.
What we ‘see’ is a ghost of what once was. Photons of light travel from any given source (like a river, puppy, or candle) directly to our eyes. The information from the light contacts our retinas and is converted into electrical signals that are sent to our brain. The brain interprets these signals into a conceptual representation of what we think is there, i.e. ‘vision’. By the time we experience this, the original object has already shifted.
On average, the age of cells in the body is between 7-10 years, leading to the simplified theory that the body completely replaces itself within that timeframe. You are no longer the same physical person anymore.
Our very lives are a constant act of creation and recreation. Our identities, our situations, our relationships, our preferences, our beliefs. Each day updated with new experiences and memories - sometimes imperceptible, sometimes profound.
Change is Different for Everyone
Embracing change is often daunting. Our innate fear of the unknown, a yearning for control, and the comfort found in familiarity - they can make change seem insurmountable. It's a multifaceted battle against our biological wiring, societal norms, and personal experiences.
Collectively, we all experience change at different stages, as depicted in the Innovation Adoption Lifecycle below. Notice how you fit into this grouping of people, which may vary depending on the situation.
You may be an early adopter in one facet of life, and a laggard in others
Be patient and compassionate with those who are at a different stage of their journey
Change is an Opportunity To Learn
The universe has a way of smacking us in the face when we haven’t learned our lessons or made the right choices. These reoccur as themes in our life until we finally get the message and clean up our act, a phenomenon often cited as karma.
It may take an enormous amount of introspection and courage to do this, but I believe we all have it in us. When we push through the discomfort and embrace change, we can discover profound benefits:
Personal Growth
Adaptability and Resilience
Creativity and Innovation
Unexpected Opportunities
How to Embrace the Inevitable
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Viktor E. Frankl,
In Man's Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl chronicles his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during World War II. He’s an individual who found a slice of heaven in a literal hell on earth.
One takeaway? No matter what the circumstance you may find yourself in, you do not have to be the victim.
You are resilient, strong, intelligent, capable. Release fear and believe in yourself, and you can overcome any obstacle.
Shift Your Perspective: See change not as an adversary but a teacher offering invaluable lessons.
Develop a Growth Mindset: Cultivate the belief that you can grow and learn from new experiences. Regularly put yourself in new situations to practice your flexibility.
Stay Curious: Ask questions and seek to understand the benefits and possibilities change brings.
Plan and Prepare: While you can't plan for every aspect of change, having a general and flexible plan can help ease anxiety, help you feel more in control, and respond pragmatically.
Focus on What You Can Control: Instead of worrying about every aspect of change, leverage the areas where you have influence.
Build a Support Network: A community of friends, family, or colleagues can provide emotional support and practical advice during turbulent times. Don’t hesitate to ask for help.
Reflect on Past Successes: Remind yourself of past instances when you successfully navigated difficult transitions. You may be surprised recalling the triumphs you’ve made against what seemed like impossible odds at the time. Reflecting on those moments can build up your confidence.
Take Small Steps: Break down the change into smaller, manageable steps. This makes it less overwhelming and allows you to gradually adapt.
What change has been bugging you lately and how have you been handling it? I’d love to hear your own experiences and wisdom in the comments below. Know that I’m rooting for you and wishing you the best.
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What I’m Doing This Week
Gratitude
I’m grateful for my children, my partner, and my friends - who make me laugh and teach me new things every single day.
Lesson Learned
Allow yourself the occasional, good old-fashioned ‘ugly cry’. It’ll do you some serious good.
Listening to
Song to the Siren - Take 7 by Tim Buckley
Watching
Another excellent conversation with Dr. Tara Swart bridging hard hitting scientific facts and concepts of spirituality. Covering neuroplasticity, identity, intuition, manifestation, stress, patience, consciousness, and all sorts of practical & profound wisdom.
Reading
Study of Paranormal Phenomena By Means of Experiments at Microscopic Level
A declassified document from the CIA chronicling a controlled scientific experiment demonstrating paranormal abilities - telekinesis, clairvoyance, and pyrokinesis. Observed by 20 senior researchers, physicists, chemists, and somatic science specialists from the China Institute of Atomic Energy and the Institute of Space Medico-Engineering. 🤯
Self-care
Meditation, stretching, qi gong, deep fascia work, naps, push-ups, pull-ups, hot baths, family time, gardening