Books That Have Inspired Me (Part 2)
Health, Relationships, Parenting
See my first reading list post: Books That Have Inspired Me (Part 1).
This selection of books delves into various schools of thought that have influenced my well-being, family, relationships, and community.
Health
At the core of everything lies health. It serves as the bedrock upon which our lives are built. When we prioritize our well-being, we experience a cascade of benefits—improved mood, clarity of thought, heightened energy levels, and enhanced decision-making.
However, achieving optimal health requires a holistic approach, one that acknowledges the interconnectedness of our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Sadly, our society often falls short of supporting individual health in its entirety.
Relationships
Through relationships, we uncover the true essence of joy, meaning, satisfaction, growth, and opportunity. The connections we forge with others hold tremendous power, enriching our lives and enabling us to navigate the world with a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Parenting
Bringing a child into the world is a precious gift wrapped up in a herculean challenge. I firmly believe that being a parent is the single most important job in the world. Many of the world’s problems stem from traumatic childhood experiences, and parents are the ultimate stewards of those experiences.
Every parent deserves to be trained, equipped, supported, and cherished. It’s through parenthood that the seeds of a future society are sown, let’s show them some love.
Part 3 of my reading list will focus on Imagination and how it has expanded my horizons of what is possible in life.
What books have inspired you? Leave a comment below!
Health
Food Inc by Karl Weber or Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser
“You are what you eat.” These simple words hold a profound truth. Exploring these books and immersing myself in the eye-opening and horrifying documentary, Food, Inc., propelled me toward a complete shift in food consumption. It led me to embrace a mostly plant-based, locally sourced, organic diet that has not only positively impacted my body and mind but also nourished my soul.
Peering into the depths of the industrialization of food and the reality of animal agriculture, a stark and undeniable picture emerges. It lays bare the far-reaching consequences that ripple through our health, the lives of sentient beings, the delicate balance of our environment, and the conditions under which laborers toil.
To witness how commercialization, centralization, capitalism, and regulatory capture have contaminated and poisoned our precious food supply is a bitter pill to swallow. It may evoke feelings of disgust and frustration.
Yet, in this knowledge lies an important lesson: as a consumer, you hold the power to shape the quality of your food. Through intentional choices and wielding your purchasing power, you have the ability to cast a vote for a different future. A future where fresh, local, and organic options take center stage, and where you can actively contribute to changing the very system that is not working for us.
The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss
Ferriss is a renowned lifehacker, constantly spreading knowledge on how to maximize performance, wellness, and entrepreneurial success. As a gamer, I resonate with the concept of MIN-MAXing — ruthlessly optimizing every action for minimum cost and maximum gain.
Ferriss applies this principle to various aspects of life: nutrition, exercise, sleep, and even sex. Using research-backed techniques, modern technology, and above all, cultivating the right mindset. On top of his books, Ferriss has an excellent podcast where he interviews exceptional individuals who share invaluable wisdom.
The Three Pillars of Zen: Teaching, Practice, and Enlightenment by Philip Kapleau Roshi
Through many years of personal exploration, I have come to embrace the extraordinary power of meditation. It may seem paradoxical that by simply sitting in stillness and silence, we can unlock answers to life's mysteries. Yet, this ancient practice, spanning millennia, continues to offer profound benefits that modern science is only beginning to comprehend.
The range of rewards bestowed by meditation is awe-inspiring. From the reduction of stress and the regulation of mood to tangible improvements in health and bolstering the immune system. Including even cognitive enhancements, its impact reverberates across every facet of our being.
Meditation is not a path for the faint-hearted. It demands unwavering dedication and steadfast consistency to fully reap its rewards. As I reflect on my own journey, I recognize the initial steps: understanding the proper techniques and becoming aware of the endless cacophony of thoughts within my mind.
This awareness opened the gateway for me to process my emotions and ideas, enabling me to perceive life from multiple angles and uncover newfound clarity and peace. Today, I’m thankful to have the ability to quiet my mind, forge a deep connection with my body, heal, and access profound insights that reside at the core of our consciousness.
There are times when I wonder about the amount of time, money, and energy we devote to pursuing external objects and experiences, believing they hold the key to our safety, well-being, and happiness. Yet, here, meditation stands before us, a boundless and freely available wellspring of tranquility and abundance.
This book is just one of many approaches to meditation, but it’s an excellent primer for understanding the techniques, practices, and profound wisdom embedded in Zen Buddhism.
When The Body Says No by Gabor Maté, MD
Full disclosure: I have not read this book, but have absorbed many of its key lessons through various trusted sources, life experiences, readings, articles, and including Maté’s many public speaking engagements.
Maté explains the impact of suppressed emotions, our childhood experiences, and various psychological factors. How deeply tied those emotions are to our physical well-being, ultimately manifesting as disease. His approach to healing is holistic, recognizing the complex integration of biological, psychological, and social elements.
In recent years, I have embarked on an intense and transformative quest to unravel and process the traumas that have shaped my life. This journey has demanded my utmost focus and resilience as I confronted the weight of accumulated and long-repressed emotions, spanning from my childhood through my teenage years and into adulthood.
Though difficult, this exploration has proven to be a catalyst for profound healing, illuminating hidden layers of understanding not only within myself but also in relation to others and their own unique paths. Through understanding comes compassion. This experience has transformed me into a more empathetic father, friend, lover, and teammate, and I am grateful for that.
You Are The Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza
As I continue strengthening the foundations of health, mind, and emotion, I’m gradually discovering the remarkable potential for self-healing that lies within each of us. One piece of this puzzle is the placebo effect, where individuals experience positive changes in their condition by simply believing they have received treatment.
Widely studied in modern medicine and frequently used as a control in clinical trials, this phenomenon begs the question: If our healing power can be activated through the placebo effect, why not harness it intentionally?
Dispenza delves into the scientific underpinnings of this effect, providing a clear explanation of concepts like neuroplasticity and epigenetics. He also offers practical techniques involving meditation and visualization to help us tap into our innate healing abilities.
I am awestruck and fascinated by the mounting scientific evidence and my own personal experiences in this realm. What lies ahead seems only limited by the imagination.
Relationships
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern & Nora Samaran
For much of my life, I was clueless as to what I really wanted and needed in a relationship. Instead, I defaulted to what was expected of me, which resulted in suppressed emotions and pain. Exploring polyamory and attachment styles opened up a new window of understanding for me. The examination of who I am, my traumas, my patterns, and how they affect my relationships has profoundly changed my life.
I believe that Polyamory is a legitimate and rational lifestyle that allows people to explore their emotions and sexuality in healthy ways, but it’s not for everyone. I’ve ultimately chosen monogamy as my relationship style, and am in absolute bliss with my soul mate. We could not have easily reached such a level of understanding, acceptance, trust, security, and joy if we had not explored this school of thought. For that, I am grateful.
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
Full Disclosure: This book is still a read in progress, but I am absorbing much of the key lessons directly from my partner, a seasoned relationship coach.
Perel is a compelling writer, speaker, and renowned authority on relationships, love, and intimacy. This book explores the deeper nature behind love, attraction, and intimacy in long-term relationships. It touches on themes such as individuality, autonomy, honest communication, fantasy, and routine and how they can stifle or ignite intimacy.
With my partner, I’ve discovered that engaging in open, compassionate, and well-informed discussions about our relationship has been deeply healing, comforting, and empowering. It takes courage to share your deepest, darkest fears, shame, and insecurities. But the act of radical honesty, coupled with unconditional acceptance, yields immeasurable rewards in a romantic relationship. It is a beautiful, transformative experience that I wish for everyone to receive.
Parenting
The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth by William Sears MD & Martha Sears RN
As my first daughter, ‘B’ drew closer to birth, I was compelled to study anything and everything I could to make sure I did a decent job at being a father. This book was helpful in navigating a highly complex process, from the biology of birthing to the different varieties of hospital & home care.
The book helped me better understand the role of a partner for a birthing mother. Despite the immense physical and emotional labor experienced by mothers, there’s much a man can still do to contribute and facilitate a positive birthing experience. Mothers are incredible, resilient, humans and deserve celebration and support for the miraculous work they do.
Another useful insight was the emphasis on birthing and nurturing practices that honor the natural rhythms of life and prioritize emotional care and respect. The book shed light on the stark contrast between these practices and the overly sterile and clinical environments that have become the norm in many modern hospitals.
Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
I’m not sure how I would have made it through the first year of being a parent without these techniques. Karp helped me understand the physical and emotional state that newborns are in immediately after birth, coined the ‘4th trimester’. He provides simple and easy practices to help soothe babies in any situation, the 5 S’s.
Swaddling
Side or Stomach Position
Shushing
Swinging
Sucking
Any combination of two or three items from above will calm your baby like magic. New parents, you’ll thank me later.
Bringing up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman
Living in France for three years while raising our kids was a revelatory experience. This book captures many fascinating elements of French culture and parenting, which I came to appreciate and practice myself. There is a sharp contrast to the American style, which tends to prioritize constant stimulation, instant gratification, and child-centeredness.
I favor a more structured, exploratory, and compassionate approach. The book also emphasizes the importance of maintaining your own boundaries as a parent to ultimately help your child, providing perspective on your own well-being.
Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld, PhD & Gabor Maté, MD
Full disclosure: I have not read this book, but have absorbed many of its key lessons through various trusted sources, life experiences, readings, articles, and including Maté’s many public lectures.
Children are precious and delicate. The early years of life are critical for the development of the body, brain, and personality. Parents play a vital role in shaping the lives of their children. The joys or traumas experienced during childhood can influence the course of their adult life: from a master painter to a sociopathic killer.
This book delves into the enormous impact parents have on their children and the critical role they play in navigating the complexities of the modern world. It emphasizes the importance of a strong parent-child bond. Emotional connection, empathy, active listening, open communication, trust, boundaries, and guidance are key elements that help nurture children in a healthy way.
What I’ve Learned
Despite all the books and theories, after ten years of being a parent, the biggest lesson I've learned is that there is no clear answer, approach, philosophy, or protocol that will work perfectly for your child. Being a parent means being an eternal student, and the best practice is to continuously observe, listen, engage, understand, and evolve.
Much of your success comes through trial and error. You'll never get it perfect, and that’s OK. Focus on learning and adapting. Focus on forward progress. And always center everything you do with your children on unconditional love.
What I’m Doing This Week
Gratitude: I’m grateful for taking time to meditate, gain deep insight, let go, and move forward.
Lesson Learned: In order to fully heal and reach my full potential, I must detach from the ego and judgment.
Listening to: Imagine by John Lennon. “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”
Watching: South Park S26 E6: Deep Learning. For an entertaining, biting commentary on how AI is beginning to change our lives and society.
Reading:
Hippocratic AI Raises $50 Million To Power The Healthcare Bot Workforce. To monitor how AI will radically transform healthcare.
Societal Cost of 'Forever Chemicals' About $17.5 Trillion Across Global Economy. To pay attention to the environment, my consumption, and my health.
Self-care: Fasting, dieta, meditation, volleyball