A Bittersweet Farewell To Innocence

Reclaiming childhood from the rush of life

My children returned back to school this week, marking an end to not only their summer break, but a chapter in our lives together. As my eldest daughter, B enters middle school and the inevitable stages of puberty, I am witnessing her gradual transformation into a teenager. A time where the center of gravity in her relationships shifts from parents to peers. The social and intellectual challenges to come will test her expanding emotions and physiology. I am bracing for impact.

This summer was a unique opportunity in my life with the kids. It seems to be the first season that I was able to truly give them my undivided attention and love. In all my previous years, I’d always been working insane hours at a job, traveling internationally, or going through some heavy life-altering events. Learning how to be OK with slowing down my life has brought unexpected and profound transformations for myself and my family.

During their summer break, the kids and I spent our time at the library, hanging out at the beach, performing in a musical, swimming, playing volleyball, reading books, gaming, and watching movies. We got to soak up each other’s presence, laugh endlessly, and create that special feeling of home.

A Loss of Innocence

Reflecting on the summer with them, I’m delirious from a cocktail of emotions. Memories of the fun we had stir waves of nostalgia and bursts of giggles. As I think of them growing and evolving, my heart warms in adoration and pride. Yet the anticipation of changes to come—pulls forward an unexpected pain. I find myself already mourning the loss of our old connection as their innocent youth fades.

My role as a parent is changing. I once served as a primary reflection of the world they are stepping into. Now, they are experiencing it for themselves—with all the joys, sorrows, discoveries, and dangers that come with it. They don’t need Daddy for everything anymore.

I can feel a part of me clinging onto the time I have with them—each moment a precious grain of sand. I grasp at them in futility as the winds of tomorrow snatch them from my hand.

It’s sobering and bittersweet to know that an age of innocence is coming to an end. What a struggle it is to know the future yet not fixate on it with worry or impatience. I’m learning that every moment I waste fussing about the future is robbing me of the joys of the present moment. It’s a poignant reminder to be grateful for what I have here and now.

Reclaiming Our Childhood

It’s peculiar to observe my daughters hold on to their childhood with an intensity that matches mine. Whether it be through their Care Bears, sleepovers, or a simple desire to be held; it feels like we are clinging on for dear life.

I get it—adult life may be rewarding, but it is hard as fuck. Being a kid is about fun and freedom. But why do we have to lose this? Who said we can’t have this anymore as we grow older? What beliefs do we hold that force us to view fun as a waste of our time and energy?

A rough childhood conditioned me to believe in some harmful unspoken myths: the only way you can earn anything is through hard work; you can only have fun after you’ve finished all your responsibilities; fun doesn’t do anything good for you if it isn’t making you money.

None of that is true. We, as humans, are all inherently worthy of love, and joy, and freedom. And fun is an operating force of the universe—sparking creativity, teaching boundaries, binding relationships, generating energy, inspiration action. It sits at the heart of value creation.

I can’t imagine a life and career that doesn’t embrace fun and freedom. It’s an essential piece to living a fulfilled life and leading a thriving team.

Rites of Passage

Adolescence is a momentous time for a human, marked by rapid change and expansion. B must say good-bye not only to relationships with others, but also to a childhood self. It can be painful as much as it is meaningful.

Virtually every preindustrial culture provided rites of initiation that helped young people navigate the dangerous waters between childhood and adulthood. In modern days we have graduation ceremonies, bar mitzvahs, and proms—along with binge drinking, shoplifting, and vaping. One category is shepherded by adults, the other isn’t. As we rush through life, we can miss the significance of these moments.

Though I’ll need to figure out our own family’s ceremonies to celebrate the big transitions in life; I feel more drawn to understanding how I can be a thoughtful, caring steward into this new chapter. Evolving my own perceptions and behaviors is a rite of passage in and of itself:

• What skills and emotional awareness can I help them develop?

• What values must I model that will serve their journey?

• How do I hold space as they navigate difficulty and struggle?

• How can I show them how powerful and balanced they can be?

• How can I frame puberty as a celebration of growth and empowerment?

• How can we embrace that growing up is nothing to be shy about, afraid of, or ashamed of?

• How do I teach us to be strong and capable, while gracefully accepting our beautiful messiness?

I don’t have the answers or a recipe to share, for our lessons lie ahead of us. All I know is I will always hold my children with unconditional love, and we’ll take this on one step at a time, as a united family.

With Love- J, B, & M

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What I’m Doing This Week

Gratitude

I’m grateful for the opportunities to practice what I’ve learned.

Lesson Learned

“Rejection is redirection, you’ll never miss what’s meant for you.” -

julie

Listening to

Dreams by Madison Malone

Watching

Recommended by the

The Honest Broker

, this acapella group from South Africa hits a harmony that transcends language. One album, one day, one take. Good stuff.

Reading

Are Fake Plastic Lawns Environmentally Irresponsible?

Yes.

Self-care

Meditation, volleyball, ocean, walks, naps, stretching, weight lifting, hot baths, sunlight, deep tissue work